Friday, March 13, 2009

Queenie


Now, "Queenie" is well known in the library. There is no last or first name on her license. It just says Queenie (not really but close). A better name could not have been chosen. I had the privilege of talking with her on the phone for 25 minutes. Time stretched and expanded and it seemed an eternity.

She has bugs. A veritable highway across the tendrils of her indoor plants and so many bugs outside! What plants could be planted and what organic home remedies could be used? I need at least five books. They need to be specific. I want one by Rodale Press they're good. Japanese beetles are the worst and aphids, mosquitoes, how about powder mildew? What does it say about that? I heard you can mix up cayenne pepper. What is the exact recipe for that? It has to be organic. I want 5 internet articles printed out on the topic. No, I'll stay on the line. Two heads are better than one. I don't have internet and I don't want my number your computer, I want you to call me when they get in.

Believe it or not, there are actually other patrons that need assistance. I tried to politely extricate myself a number of times but to no avail. She was just getting started. I finally had to be abrupt and end it. Less than a minute later, she called back to say she's pick up the items tomorrow. I did not answer that call. I was catatonic.

I have a natural aversion to telephones and now I'm practically phobic. She's an elderly woman and has difficulty getting around, so, I was more accommodating than usual. If her name is any indication, I would surmise her egocentric attitude is not a new condition. I'd bet she was just as demanding as a spry young thing. I enjoy helping people but I'm not a personal shopper. I'm not here to weed your garden. Ackk! Sorry, felt a rant coming on. Don't call me. I'll call you.

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