H1N1

These days the kids have one more thing to worry about. A coworker was discussing "Swine Influenza" with her niece.

"You know, Sweetie, it's not called Swine Flu anymore."
She pointed to its new moniker, H1N1, "now, they're calling it this."
"It's the Heinie flu now?!"

Queenie takes on the Swine Flu

Nothing to fear. Queenie is here. She has decided to take on the swine flu because no one is doing anything about it. Who knew she could forestall a pandemic from her apartment building. I don't know about you, but I feel much better. No need to get hysterical.

"This is Queenie. I need you to go to the website for the CDC and get me their phone and fax number. Now, I need the same thing for the World Health Organization, that's W-H-O. There must be a fax number. I have to have the fax number."

**Warning, blatantly false statement follows**

"We need to kill ALL the pigs. It's the pigs that are making us sick. You get swine flu from eating pork."

When my coworker tried to dissuade her from this inaccuracy he got an ear full and then she got a dial tone. When she calls tomorrow, I'm all ready with the president's home number and the Pentagon's phone and fax.