Parent Torture Conference

I went to conferences burning with shame and futility. Shame in that special way only a school official can make you feel. I had two choices: go to conferences and politely accept the D and F grade slips so graciously offered or stay home and wallow in my bad parenthood. So, I went--this year--stomach roiling. I met with each and every teacher (except PE) and was so overjoyed at the solitary B slip, I nearly cried. I cry a lot at school which I find mortifying. I feel as if I've slipped into Valerie Bertinelli's skin and am now a part of some horrible after school special. Pass the martini.
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