So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

With the simple touch of a button. The power. Initiate gag reflex. Clear out the office. Unlike popcorn or lasagna with it's come hither aroma, unlike any other smell known to microwave- ah, the mystery that is fish.

Our fearless "Fit for Life" leader has brought fish for lunch twice this week. She was perplexed to find no sign of life in the office when she finished her repast. This is unsettling to a super. She found all of us far, far away, huddled at the front desk breathing shallow but necessary breaths.

Seemingly unaware of the havoc her lunch had wrought on productivity, she quizzed us. "Who's supposed to be on desk? Why are you all out here?" There was no graceful way around it. One brave coworker spoke up. "No offense, but the fish smell's really bad. I can't go back there." She somewhat sheepishly reasserted the directive- "Back to work." Suck it up, buttercup. I can say that because I was assigned to the front desk.

Addendum A: to be added to break room etiquette: Do NOT cook fish in the microwave or there may be a revolt.